essay – She Rambles

How, not what.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a writer. It’s one of those jobs that people perk up about when I claim it as my profession. I think a lot of that is because its one of those jobs that people seem to believe you can’t get.

As any liberal arts major will tell you, we were all led to believe (at one time or another) that we were wasting our time in programs that wouldn’t amount to much. Luckily for me, I get to spend my days doing something I like and people seem to think I’m good at. I talk to people, listen closely, then spend hours putting what I’ve heard down on paper in the clearest way I know how.

Really, as much as my job is writing, it really is about discerning what is important and removing everything else. (Then hopefully I can also do something creative with it to grab a reader’s attention.)

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Perfect Timing

I have a passion for what some might call “bad photos.” You know the ones, where the camera snaps before your eyes were open or before you lifted your head or your hand isn’t perfectly on your hip yet or your mouth is making an awkward upside-down duck bill. These, by far, are a few of my favourite things. If my friends allowed me, I would make shirts with all their stupid grins, drunken smirks, distance glances, and awkward stances; and I would wear them with pride.

Of course there are just ‘bad photos,’ and its tough to put my finger on what it is that differentiates the special ones from the ones we ought to chuck in the waste basket. But, for me at least, I think it comes down to a few simple things.

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Let’s Talk About Strippers

I went to the strippers a few weekends ago.

Before making our way from the pub near my house to the club downtown there had been a lot of ‘we’re not actually going to the strippers, are we?’ and ‘if we don’t go now we’ll never make it happen,’ and ‘yaaaa, boobs!’ (ok, no one anyone literally said ‘ya boobs,’ but it was implied), followed by more, ‘is this actually happening?’

Before long I found myself with my arms over my head proclaiming ‘there’s so much wrong with the strippers!’ This isn’t a great argument, but when I started talking about why I saw problems with going to the strippers I found I lack anything concrete. I couldn’t really validate if it was a good or bad thing to do. Would I be adding to an already broken system of objectification, or was going and being respectful helping to empower anyone? I didn’t know.

My uncertainty on the world of exotic dance didn’t stop me from going, but it did make me want to get some clarity on where I stood and why.

I had a lot of questions left unanswered; are the women treated fairly? are we being sexual objectifiers? does their willingness to participate outweigh any threats? what are the risks? is it demeaning or can it actually be empowering? and how do they feel about their jobs? who really has the power?

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Ain’t nobody got time for that?

Not so long ago I was sitting in my recently tidied apartment with nothing but 4 hours of completely obligation free time. It was terrifying. I had no idea what I should be doing. I mean, I could fall down a rabbit hole of some Netflix show that I don’t really care about, or scroll through the interwebs endlessly, but to what end?

Excessive free time isn’t a state most of us find ourselves in, I don’t think. Though, who am I to speculate, maybe you have an insane amount of free time and I’m just projecting busy-ness onto all of you. But, at least from how we all go on, we seem to generally live (or create) rather busy lives.

I, however, am in this weird sweet spot in my life where I have almost no weekly obligations other than showing up to my Monday – Friday, 9 – 5 job. I should really get to volunteering for something, but that’s a discussion for a different day. I also happen to have a friend who has two children under the age of 3 and a husband who travels a lot for work. The stark juxtaposition of our lives struck me in the face with the realization that I will probably never have more free time in my life than I do right now, and I best take full advantage of it to follow whatever whims I choose.

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